What could drive a contemporary woman, born and raised in the West, to enter a polygamous marriage with a spiritual master from an ancient Islamic tradition? In this fascinating interview for Issue 45, EnlightenNext senior editor Elizabeth Debold speaks with Sufi master Aliya Haeri about her decision to become the third wife of Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri and how this unlikely relationship helped lead her to spiritual liberation.
Many critics would see such a move as a step backward, a rejection of the hard-won independence women enjoy in the West. But, as Haeri explains, her marriage and family life gave support to her commitment to “live at a higher level” and ultimately catalyzed a much deeper kind of personal freedom. Over the course of their conversation, Haeri tells of her unusual life, revealing a rare degree of spiritual conviction. She speaks about a “night of despair” that led to her discovery of Sufism, which provided her “an extraordinary opportunity to commit single-mindedly to wanting absolute knowledge of the divine above anything else.”
Sufi master Aliya Haeri is the director of the Academy of Self Knowledge in South Africa, an organization dedicated to bringing the universal teachings of Sufism to the daily lives of people around the world. She has more than twenty-five years of experience as a spiritual teacher, mentor, and counselor, conducting workshops throughout the United States, Europe, South Africa, and Pakistan. She is married to the renowned Sufi master Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri.
Haeri's earlier work experience includes biomedical research into psychic phenomena, healing by prayer, and dream research. A professional member of the Association of Transpersonal Psychology in the U.S., Haeri has developed innovative approaches to psychotherapy and relationship counseling that focus on soul development over problem diagnosis. Haeri has also worked in media as an associate producer of award-winning TV documentaries on spirituality and religion. She has been interviewed on numerous media outlets, including the BBC and the Times. Haeri is a frequent speaker on women’s issues, Islam, and spirituality, and has addressed conferences at the London School of Economics, University of Chicago, and the United Nations Year of the Woman Seminar. Born and raised in Hawaii, she has a B.A. in philosophy from New York University and an M.A. in psychology from the Postgraduate Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Haeri is currently completing her Ph.D. in psychology and writing a book on spiritual transformation and healing.
